


spelling out their names, and i feel insane

by brainrot_supremacy



Series: compelling for those even beyond the grave [2]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: ...i guess, Absurd, Absurdism, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Tragedy, Diary/Journal, Gods, HEAVY ON THAT TAG, Heavy on the Interludes low on the plot, Hybrid Jschlatt (Video Blogging RPF), Hybrid Wilbur Soot, I guess????, Insane Wilbur Soot, Jschlatt Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Jschlatt-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Kinda, Mission Reports, Old Gods, POV Alternating, Poetic, Reincarnation, Research, SCP, Shapeshifter Jschlatt, Shapeshifter Wilbur Soot, Sheep Hybrid Jschlatt (Video Blogging RPF), To An Extent, Very Heavy, Wilbur Soot Angst, Wilbur Soot-centric, Worldbuilding, absurdist, anyways. jschlatt and karl friend supremacy, heavy /i guess/, i guess, i mean i gUESS you could say, is that a tag????, mentions of Karl - Freeform, not really mission but research, the later part of this fic is just unnamed journals but theyre by karl lmao, this reads like an scp fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-15 10:54:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29063151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brainrot_supremacy/pseuds/brainrot_supremacy
Summary: (I'm not exactly sure why this is being written down, but I follow orders. Defying the orders is not permitted and will be resulted in demotion. Contrary to popular belief, holding onto these timetravel powers help me hold onto a sense of self.)-No, I'm not insane. Insanity and madness are intrinsically different, separated by a line that...-i had to get a new journal. the other one was too loud. i might have to get another one, because this one's silence fills my ears with static so heavy that i feel like im floating on the past. is that an odd sentence? i sure hope not.aka, snippets from people who slowly lose their minds, and prophecies from people who may never read them again.
Relationships: Everyone and everyone, Jschlatt & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Jschlatt & Wilbur Soot, Karl Jacobs & Jschlatt, No Romantic Relationship(s), Wilbur Soot & Phil Watson, there is no tag for being mutual enemies with mutual hate what do i do
Series: compelling for those even beyond the grave [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2132205
Comments: 3
Kudos: 12





	spelling out their names, and i feel insane

**Author's Note:**

> hi yall. im actually really proud of this one (esp compared to the work that came before this because i will admit that was a bit of a shitshow). maybe my literary oriented self really fucking likes it or maybe i just like writing scp-esque reports. i guess we'll never know.  
> title taken from dead girls by penelope scott, which i think kinda fits

[Translator's Note: The previous part of the text is untranslatable. It's written in a language so dead not even some of the more recent Ancients recognize it. (If you, for any reason, come into knowledge of anything pertaining to this language, please contact me or my successor with information.)

_...so take the above information as you will._

_< Why not just banish him? _

_> >Yeah? Where would _you _banish the Mad God to?_

_< Maybe something like the Outer Layer. _

_> < I have spoken to the both of you about the privately, but for the _official _record,_ Request Granted.

(An excerpt from the Ancient's Studies and Dropped Projects:A Beginner's Guide)

It's like they don't know that _I_ know. Huh. Wouldn't that be something. I could hold it over their heads and puppet them around and string them along like the useless fucking symbols they are and _thrive_ off of their own suppressed insanity. There's an absurd amount of insanity that comes with being a God, not to mention being an Ancient. 

Gods, that would be so _empowering-_

But. I doubt anyone will ever see these journal pages. They've got to be burned or scattered. Or both, really. 

Either way. Before they banish me I might just take a few of them with me.

Would that be ironic, or what?

_The ensemble of normal Gods may not realize it, but when they are sent to do missions, their vessels are already predetermined. It's an odd thing that has been lost with time, but this predetermined-ness is something that has been proven. Over different worlds, the vessels almost always have the same traits (ie. alcoholism, schizophrenia, a general length of hair, eye color, hybridity, the list goes on.)._

_Some vessels, oddly enough, never change._

_This may or may not have something to do with the state and status of the God itself._

_More research is required._

_(An excerpt from the Ancient's Studies and Dropped Projects:A Beginner's Guide)_

**mad·ness**

_/ˈmadnəs/_

-the state of being mentally ill, especially severely

-extremely foolish behavior

 ~~-a state of frenzied or chaotic~~ activity

Music is, essentially, controlled madness. I've come to realize it over the span of a few eons, and I've come to use it as well. I'm writing this down as I run (hey, I evolved a while ago! Leave a God alone, for Ancient's sake.) with a bit of good ol' telekinesis (only the mad kind, of course.) and am slowly realizing that there is so much potential for this aspect of madness. 

Music was only created a short time ago (in Godly terms), but for human's it's been around for a good long while. 

More trial is needed. 

No one will ever read this and I am only a little bit disappointed. 

You know, sometimes I wish that the noise in the back of my head wasn't there. Is that selfish of me?

**am·ne·sia**

_/amˈnēZHə/_

~~__-__ a partial or total~~ loss of memory

_**time travel** _

It is uncertain if time travel to the past is physically possible. Forward time travel, outside the usual sense of the perception of time, is an extensively observed phenomenon and well-understood within the framework of special relativity and general relativity. ~~However, making one body advance or delay more than a few milliseconds compared to another body is not feasible with current technology~~. As for backward time travel, it is possible to find solutions in general relativity that allow for it, such as...

_All Gods start out as Basics-simple, really. Either they ascended when they were alive or they were Chosen after they were dead. The Committee is made up of us, the Ancients, and a few of their subordinates._

_Basics always start small, but depending on their godhood they can..._

_Well, they call it evolving, but I'm not really sure that's the right terminology. I think it's more_ unlocking a deeper part of yourself _, but who am I in regards to godhood?_

_I'm just a timetraveller._

_(I'm not exactly sure why this is being written down, but I follow orders. Defying the orders is not permitted and will be resulted in demotion. Contrary to popular belief, holding onto these timetravel powers help me hold onto a sense of self.)_

**pur·ga·to·ry**

_/ˈpərɡəˌtôrē/_

-(in Roman Catholic doctrine) a place or state of suffering inhabited by the souls of sinners who are expiating their sins before going to heaven

~~-having the quality of cleansing or purifying~~

_In traditional Christianity, both the Old and New Testament are accepted as truth, words directly from God's mouth put on paper by His followers. While translation has been a constant issue-the original texts were not written in English, unlike some ignorant people chose to believe-interpretation has always been up for debate. Catholics look to the current Pope for guides on how to interpret certain touchy subjects, Lutherans look to a mixture of the 95 Theses and Luther's teachings himself, and the list goes on. While specific and individual beliefs will never truly be the same from person to person, there seems to be an unspoken rule: If your views differ too greatly from the acceptable norm, then maybe you aren't a_ real _Christian after all. It is for this reason that many psychologists who have dealt with patients and clients with religious trauma typically never are interested in religion: the strict homogony of beliefs rarely allow for personal growth until one comes to the conclusion that institutionalized religion is, in essence, a way to teach and learn docility. It's a touchy subject with many who are sympathetic to Judeo-Christian views, and some people actively block out that viewpoint._

_Truly, a double edged sword._

_Another tenet of Christian views is that the dead should never be talked to, as that is a sign of Satanism. It amazes me that these people can be so_ willfully ignorant _as to what's right in front of them. Maybe it's stubbornness in regards to wanting the dead to stay dead? Or maybe these people want to stay blind as to the horrors of death._

_~~( <<maybe introduce them to Ph1l or another of his legion to get them acquainted?) ~~ _

~~_( >>> Human failure is necessary for their growth. This will inevitably lead to their own downfall. Human hubris, anyone? Either way, a good idea, but it goes against the "leave them be" tenet of out own beliefs.)_ ~~

~~_( <<What about the DSMP Purgatory Door? It's one of the later Doors, and both the Mad God _and _the Time God are on their way there now. Ph1l would be a good guard for those two.)_~~

~~_( >< Request granted.)_ ~~

_Further study is necessary._

(An excerpt from the Ancient's Studies and Dropped Projects:A Beginner's Guide)

**un·dead**

_/ˌənˈded/_

- ~~(of a fictional being, especially a vampire)~~ technically dead but still animate

Y'know, this journal thing isn't half bad. 

Oh, you want an update?

Well, dear jounrnal, have I mentioned you have a lovely voice? It's very melodious. It almost sounds familiar. 

Oh, alright. The update. 

I ran. Their containment chambers are incredibly flimsy, and turning a few of them to my side was much easier than I thought it would be. Plus, this whole music thing? A fucking blast, if I do say so myself.

How long have I been running for, you ask?

Well, now. I think it's best you be quiet. 

Wouldn't want me getting lost now, would I? 

Hey, actually, do I need to write in you anymore if you can hear me talking? 

Yes? 

Oh. Bummer, then. 

Y'kow, I've noticed that this vessel can't survive without me. I think that's odd and maybe not how it should be, but it's whatever. It works, and that's all that matters!

No, I'm _not_ insane. Insanity and madness are intrinsically different, separated by a line that...

Overloading? Well, that's something to do research on. _Can_ the human brain explode?

Hey. _Hey_ , now. Watch your tone with me. 

I'll get a new journal. I swear I will. 

Be _quiet-_

_I can't tell if this is my personal journal or the official records, but it doesn't matter now, I guess. The entire universe has gone to shit in a matter of moments and I think we're all slowly losing it._

_The Mad God has escaped. Not to anywhere they didn't want him, but the people here are pissed. They can't tell if W-the Mad God went where he went purely on instinct or if he went there as a form of taunting the Ancients._

_Seeing the Gods Turn is something I don't think I'll ever forget._

_Maybe it's a primal sort of hope that I don't._

_..._

_In other news, though, I finally found the basis for this time-travel thing. I guess it'd be more apt to call it a God._

_It's weird, though. You'd think a God this powerful would be an Ancient..._

_Huh. More questions to ask._

every time i wake up i think i go crazier a little bit. is that odd?

i had to get a new journal. the other one was too loud. i might have to get another one, because this one's silence fills my ears with static so heavy that i feel like im floating on the past. is that an odd sentence? i sure hope not.

there's no more doors to open and no more afterlives to ruin. none of this is real, is it? 

no, you're right. that's stupid. 

either way, ive expanded on the whole _music_ thing. percussion and strings and brass and everything else never invented and long forgotten are cool and all that, but my personal favorite is the guitar. its a stringed instrument, and... 

why am i telling you this? you've never talked to me like Sally did. 

sally was nice. that journal listened. youre ignorant.

i might just have to get rid of you, too.

if you were nice, youd speak up and yell about me and how i promised to never let you go. 

jokes on you. promises are now obsolete. ive broken past that wall too many times to count because it keeps rebuilding. 

there are only a few promises i can never break, but i dont consider you important enough to count as one. 

goodbye, friend. i hope we never meet again. 

_The God that showed up a while ago is gone. I've done a few hops and found that he goes to console the Mad God. (It's not anything important, I tell myself, and it's only but I know I'll forget this soon enough.)_

_Schlatt was nice, though. I hope I see him again. We joked and talked and discussed time for so long I'm beginning to think that maybe he can manipulate it too_

_I hope I'm able to save him in time._

_..._

_So. He hasn't actually gone to console him. It was a misunderstanding on my part._

_He's been forced to go there by the Ancients as a stupid fucking test of his powers and because they're too fucking scared to confront the embodiment of madness itself._

_I know the Goat can take care of him (does Chaos beat Madness? Can you stretch the meaning? More questions to forget.) but I will miss him all the same._

_this is a napkin that will be blown away in the wind, along with the remnants of my service to the ancients but here's a flash: i found him. he's inhabiting a vessel that will fall apart at any moment and congealing himself helps none. is this too poetic for myself? i'll never know again._

_i've been flung down since my productivity was at an all time low. no respect for the working, eh?_

_it's confusing down here, especially since i feel like i've seen this all before. maybe i have. i know i should just check my journal but i don't want to face the truth._

_i need to get this out there. i feel like this whole thing has been on repeat. have i done this before?_

_it's at the forefront of my brain, and i keep on losing it._

_..._

_this is a napkin that will be blown away in the wind, along with the remnants..._

_This is the final official report on the Mad God and his "affiliate," the Goat._

(For any that might stumble across this, if you are not an Ancient, you will be found and burned upon reading this. We will not hesitate.)

_They were never really affiliates. The Mad Goat is a fake name and he will always have more power than the Mad God. It's an oxymoron that swirls upon itself like a stupid absurdist play and like the sunk cost fallacy. The DreamSMP is a purgatory and I think I've done enough jumps to realize that so is this, too._

_I've jumped so far back I've gone ahead, and each and every time Schlatt loses himself to his own emotions and each and every time Wilbur loses himself to just that._

_I've seen times that Schlatt is hated by even his vessel, and is abandoned by his powers and the remnants of himself. I've seen times that Wilbur wins, and I've seen times where no one wins. Is this worth it, in the end?_

_The Goat has all the powers one could ever want-hell, he most likely started the universe (if the fact that no one else but me and him remember the restarts), and yet is own downfall is how much he cares._

_Is that ironic, or what?_

~~_Official Time-Jumper Karl Jacobs_ ~~

**Author's Note:**

> oooh yeah oooh ooh yeah please critique this oooh yeah oooh oooh yeah


End file.
